May 2, 1978 Hawaii Honeymoon

The Stone Has Rolled Away

It has been a full 38 years ago (April 29, 1978) that a man who vowed and professed before many guests and God, "Til death do us part", handed me divorce papers. As he did, he spoke these words.........."As of this morning, I am no longer married to you".
I was completely surprised and shocked, having had no forewarning even of a court date. It was Friday the 13th of March, 1981,

That incident began a 5 year journey, a living nightmare of dismantlement, homelessness, humiliation, anger, heartbreak, and then running from God. Even after purposing in my heart to forgive, I battled with a myriad of emotions. Even moving to a city hundreds of miles away didn't help. I dove back into my old worldly ways after having lived in love with my Savior for six years before that divorce! I will spare you the morbid details, except to say that more and more I began to miss my fellowship with my wonderful God and Savior. Slowly I literally began to crawl back to Him on my knees, hoping to be restored to His presence and His embrace. This is how He responded to my prayers to be forgiven and set free.............

One day I began reading in the book of Matthew the story of the servant who owed the king a fortune. He pleaded for time to pay the debt, and received the mercy he needed. He was granted mercy. Then he turned to another servant who owed HIM  a pittance. He refused that man mercy. It didn't turn out well for the one who had been forgiven. Upon hearing of this, his master turned him over to the torturers, to repay what he had owed.

"So also My heavenly Father will deal with every one of you, if you do not freely forgive your brother from your heart his offenses". (Mat:18:35)

I felt myself falling into a heap.........deep conviction pierced to my heart. It was then I was suddenly set free from the hurt and the pain, and the bitter years of memories that tortured me.
The stone had rolled away ! 

(On that very day, the following poem flowed through my pen to chronicle the perfect timing of  my release from the tomb of  unforgiveness. Only time will tell all that was accomplished during those years of captivity.) 
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The Stone Has Rolled Away
(August 24, 1985)

I harbored a deep and deadly sin in the tomb of my wicked heart
A sin that kept me paralyzed  in grave clothes from the start
The sins against me I'd retained, but they bound me to MY debt
I could not forgive those sins, so how could I forget !

For years on end I struggled, trying so hard to be free, 
for what i held so tightly had a stranglehold on ME
I held a man to keep his vow , and blamed him for my plight
Whatever ills life held for me, had ME blameless in my sight

Through misery and poverty and guilt upon my soul
I wandered through the wilderness, in the dark night of my soul
My unbelief grew stronger while my faith was laid to rest
So finally death caught up to me, while God put me to the test

With darkness all around me, and the smell of deathly flesh
I knew I couldn't save myself from the tomb that took my breath
Then I heard a shout that called my name, and quickly realized
That the Voice I heard was MERCY ...and it opened up my eyes !

Yeshua made me see and know that the reason I was dead
Was the absence of MY mercy, I had played the judge, instead.
So MERCY rolled the stone away and commanded me to live.
Without MERCY I was doomed to die, and I'd be helpless to forgive.